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Bullying is not simply two children having an argument or an occasional disagreement. It generally involves unwanted aggressive behavior and a real or perceived imbalance of power, and it may be repeated—or have the potential to be repeated—over time.

 

It can take many forms: verbal harassment, rumors, deliberate exclusion, threats, physical aggression and behavior carried out through phones, texting and social media.

 

Bullying remains a very real problem for American children.

 

National Center for Education Statistics data show that during the 2021–22 school year, approximately 19% of students ages 12–18 reported being bullied during school—roughly 1 out of every 5 students. Among students who reported being bullied, 22% said the bullying occurred online or through text.

 

CDC data also found that in 2023, 19% of U.S. high-school students reported being bullied at school during the previous 12 months, an increase from 15% in 2021.

 

 

BULLYING ISN'T ALWAYS PHYSICAL

 

One reason bullying can be difficult for parents to recognize is that it doesn't necessarily look like a fight.

 

Among students ages 12–18, some of the most commonly reported experiences include rumors, being made fun of, name-calling and insults. Students have also reported deliberate exclusion, threats, being pushed or shoved, and having private information, photographs or videos shared without their permission.

 

And many children don't tell an adult.

 

Among students ages 12–18 who reported being bullied during the 2021–22 school year, only about 44% reported that an adult at school had been notified.

 

That is one reason communication between children, parents and other trusted adults matters so much.

 

 

WE DON'T MAKE PROMISES WE CAN'T SUPPORT

 

At NYC Goju Ryu Karate-Jutsu, we do not tell parents that enrolling their child in martial arts will “bully-proof” them.

We don't believe any responsible martial arts school can guarantee that a child will never be bullied simply because he or she learns karate, or any other martial arts.

 

Knowing how to fight and knowing how to deal with bullying are not the same thing.

 

Bullying is a complex human behavior. There isn't one type of child who bullies, and there isn't one explanation for why it happens.

 

Research identifies numerous possible influences. Some children may seek social status or power. Others may be influenced by their peer group. Family relationships and the level of emotional support and communication at home may play a role. Exposure to aggression or violence may be relevant in some cases. Other children may be attempting to control or exclude their peers.

 

No single explanation applies to every child who engages in bullying.

 

We cannot look at a child who bullies and presume to know that child's story. We don't necessarily know what is happening at home, what that child has experienced, the pressures within his or her peer group, or the emotional difficulties that may exist beneath the behavior.

 

Understanding those possibilities never excuses bullying.

 

But it does demonstrate why the solution is far more complicated than simply teaching another child how to punch or kick.

 

 

SO WHERE CAN MARTIAL ARTS HELP?

 

This is where we believe a quality martial arts program can play an important role—without pretending to be the entire solution.

 

At NYC Goju Ryu Karate-Jutsu, we work to help children develop qualities that can be valuable when facing difficult situations:

 

Confidence. Awareness. Self-control. Discipline. Communication. Perseverance. Respect. The ability to remain composed under pressure.

 

A child who carries himself or herself with greater confidence may respond differently to intimidation.

 

A child who has practiced remaining composed under pressure may be better prepared to think instead of panic.

 

A child who understands that asking an adult for help is not weakness may be more willing to speak up.

 

And a child who develops genuine physical ability must also learn something equally important:

 

Having the ability to hurt someone does not give you the right to do so.

 

That is an important part of traditional martial arts education.

 

 

WE'RE CONCERNED WITH BOTH SIDES OF BULLYING

 

Our responsibility isn't limited to the child who may be bullied.

 

We also want to help develop children who don't become bullies themselves.

 

Physical confidence without self-control can become aggression. Strength without empathy can become intimidation. Skill without responsibility can be dangerous.

 

We teach our students that strength carries responsibility.

 

A stronger child does not have the right to intimidate a weaker one. A more confident child doesn't have the right to humiliate someone who is shy. And knowing how to defend yourself doesn't give you permission to start a confrontation.

 

Real confidence doesn't require making someone else feel small.

 

 

WHEN A CHILD IS ALREADY BEING BULLIED

 

Martial arts should never replace the involvement of parents, teachers, school administrators, counselors, mental-health professionals or other appropriate resources when a child is experiencing bullying.

 

It can, however, become one component of a broader early-intervention and support strategy.

 

For some children, that may mean rebuilding confidence.

 

For others, it may mean developing stronger social skills, learning to communicate more assertively, becoming more comfortable around peers, or simply discovering something at which they can work hard, improve and feel successful.

 

Traditional karate also teaches physical self-defense.

 

But we teach that physical force is a last resort—not the first response to bullying.

 

A child should understand how to recognize danger, create distance, seek assistance, tell a trusted adult, avoid unnecessary confrontation and protect themselves when there is genuinely no safe alternative.

 

 

OUR GOAL IS NOT TO “BULLY-PROOF” YOUR CHILD

 

There is no such guarantee.

 

Our goal is something more realistic.

 

We want to help children develop confidence without arrogance, strength without aggression, awareness without fear, and the judgment to understand the difference between avoiding a fight and being incapable of protecting themselves.

 

We want children to know when to walk away.

 

When to speak up.

 

When to ask for help.

 

When to stand up for somebody else.

 

And, if they are ever placed in a situation where they genuinely cannot safely escape, to have the skills and composure necessary to protect themselves.

 

Because helping a child deal with bullying isn't simply about teaching them how to fight.

 

It's about helping them develop the confidence and judgment to understand when not to fight, when to get help, when to stand their ground—and to know that another person's attempt to tear them down does not determine their worth.

 

 

SOURCES

 

U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC)

National Center for Education Statistics (NCES)

StopBullying.gov